For Jenny

Jenny and I met during what was undoubtedly one of the most chaotic seasons of my life. I was in my early twenties, recently divorced, and dating a guy who, as it turned out, had a crush on Jenny. I wasn’t exactly friendly to her because of this, and Jenny being Jenny, well, she wasn’t about to let that slide. At her insistence, we spent some time hanging out, and figured out pretty fast that we got along quite well. We had many things in common. And we laughed. A lot. And just that quick, a beautiful friendship..

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was born.

That first summer, she helped me get a job driving the beer cart at the golf course that she worked for so..

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much of that summer was spent flying over concrete entirely too fast in a golf cart that wasn’t “souped up” but drove like it was. We talked.  About life, her past and mine- but we also spent alot of time in the moment.

I am so thankful for that now.

Our friendship spanned many years.  Some of those years were filled up with so much joy it was hard to contain.  Other years were painful.  Heartbreaking.  We struggled through the loss of children through miscarriage together..and then we celebrated the birth of two-

Hers…

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and mine.

You see, because of that friendship, my husband and I were able to adopt a beautiful little boy.

 

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Because of that friendship, a beautiful little boy lives in a home filled up with love, security, and encouragement.

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Jenny gave us that gift by bringing us all together.

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Jenny and I hadn’t spoken much over the last few years and her passing was very unexpected. The “busy” of life had crept in years before and we spent less and less time together.  I knew that she was unwell, but I don’t think that I let it sink in just how bad things had become until the day the message came in that she was in the hospital. From that moment, time kind of stood still. To be honest, it still does most days. It took some time for me to be able to get through the day without crying. Longer still for me to be able to look at the pictures..endless stacks of them.. that remind me of earlier times “before.” Before the heart-wrenching losses that quite simply broke her heart. And mine. those pictures are priceless to me now.

There was much left unsaid in the end, and I regret that so much. I know her well enough to know what she would say about that. She had a loving and forgiving spirit..always comforting others even during times of intense personal pain. She was ( and is) an amazing human being.

One of Jenny’s greatest talents was bringing all of the people that she loved together. I have been blessed beyond measure to spend much time over the years with her family and other friends. Her older sister is my sister now. In Christ and in life. Her mother made the stocking that we hang for Isaiah on the mantle every Christmas. With loving hands. Her mother was also there with us on the day that Isaiah was born. Jenny brought us all full-circle though I couldn’t quite see that at the time. That’s another gift that she gave to all of us.

It takes time to push past the incredible heartache that comes after… after the pain of loss. After my friend stepped out of this world and into eternity.  It takes time to once again appreciate the beautiful things that she saw and captured through that ever-present camera lens.  It takes time to get through an entire day without tears.  Or at least, without public tears.  It takes alot of time. But there is one certainty in all of this.  To have a friend like Jenny is worth

every

single

bit

of the pain that comes from losing her.  She was.. she is… a gift to those of us who have been privileged enough to call her friend. And I will never forget her.