My Sister's Side Door

Tag: friendship

For Jenny

Jenny and I met during what was undoubtedly one of the most chaotic seasons of my life. I was in my early twenties and I was dating a guy who, as it turned out, had a thing for Jenny. I wasn’t exactly friendly to her because of this, and Jenny being Jenny..wasn’t about to let that slide. At her insistence, we spent some time hanging out, and figured out pretty fast that we got along quite well . We had alot in common. And we laughed. Alot. And just that quick,

a beautiful friendship















was born.



That first summer, she helped me get a job driving the beer cart at golf course that she worked for so..








much of that summer was spent flying over concrete entirely too fast in a golf cart that wasn’t “souped up” but drove like it was. We talked alot.  About life, her past and mine- but we also spent alot of time in the moment.

I am so thankful for that now.

Our friendship spanned many relationships, several short-lived fashion trends (READ: disasters), a couple of marriages, and one very difficult divorce. We struggled through the loss of children..and then we celebrated the birth of two-










and my own.


You see, because of that friendship, my husband and I were able to adopt a beautiful little boy.

















Because of that friendship, a beautiful little boy lives in a home filled up with love, security, and encouragement..




































Jenny gave us that gift by bringing us all together.







Jenny and I hadn’t spoken much over the last few years and her passing was very unexpected. I knew that she was unwell, but I don’t think that I let it sink in just how bad things had become until they day the message came in that she was in the hospital. From that moment, time kind of stood still. To be honest, it still does most days. It took some time for me to be able to get through the day without crying. Longer still for me to be able to look at the pictures..endless stacks of them.. that remind me of earlier times “before.” Before the heart wrenching losses that quite simply broke her heart and mine. There was much left unsaid in the end, and I regret that so much. I know her well enough to know what she would say about that. She had a loving and forgiving spirit..always comforting others even during times of intense personal pain. She was ( and is) an amazing human being.
One of Jenny’s greatest talents was bringing all of the people that she loved together. I have been blessed beyond measure to spend much time over the years with her family and other friends. Her older sister is my sister now. In Christ and in life. Her mother made the stocking that we hang for Isaiah on the mantle every Christmas. With loving hands. Her mother was also there with us on the day that Isaiah was born. Jenny brought us all full-circle though I couldn’t quite see that at the time.

It takes time to push past the incredible heartache that comes after… after my friend steps out of this world and into eternity.  It takes time to once again appreciate the beautiful things that she saw and captured through that ever-present camera lens.  It takes time to get through an entire day without tears.  Or at least, without public tears.  It takes alot of time. But there is one certainty in all of this.  To have a friend like Jenny is worth every.single.bit. of the pain that comes from losing her.  She was.. she is… a gift to those of us who have been privileged enough to call her friend. And I will never forget her.






My Sister’s Side Door

Her door has always been open. I remember pulling into the driveway that leads to her home so many times..hoping..praying..that she would be there. Somehow, she’s always been there. That familiar side door came to be a beacon to me; a way to enter into my Lords presence when I had forgotton how to get there on my own. My friend has taken me in, wounded, bleeding, and crying out to the creator. She would pull out the Bible , and find the words that would make hope come into my life again. His words. His promise for us all.
Over the years our friendship has endured much. We’ve weathered many seasons together, this friend and I. We’ve laughed and cried, lived and grown, rejoiced and mourned; we’ve watched her beautiful little ones grow into amazing people right before our very eyes. She’s always shared her life and family with me; it’s probably one of the most amazing gifts that Sandy has ever given.
It is a blessing to have a friend that is willing to lay down whatever is going on in her life that day to minister to a hurting friend. It is a testimoney that bares itself out beyond mere words that we humans speak and goes straight to the heart of our creator.
What is true friendship? It goes much deeper than the surface; it makes its way past all of the dents, scratches and scars to touch the very spirit of who we are. True friendship the way God intended does not judge; it does speak truth but with a heart of love for the friend and for God. Thank you God for placing such a friendship in my life.